If you treat the people around you with love and respect, they will never guess that you’re trying to get them sacked.

If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven’t understood the seriousness of the situation.

For all the bankers out there!

If your boss is getting you down, look at him through the prongs of a fork and imagine him in jail.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.

When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, “How would the Lone Ranger handle this?”

What does a squirrel do in the summer? It buries nuts. Why? Cos then in winter time he’s got something to eat and he won’t die.

It’s the team that matters. Where would The Beatles be without Ringo? If John got Yoko to play drums the history of music would be completely different.

Put the key of despair into the lock of apathy. Turn the knob of mediocrity slowly and open the gates of despondency – welcome to a day in the average office.

Show me a good loser and I’ll show you a LOSER!

Every time you open your mouth you have this wonderful ability to continually confirm what I think.